it's the bare necessities.

earlier I had a pretty dismal post up, but then I had an epiphany of sorts. Joe is away until tomorrow evening, and while I surely miss his cuddles, I have a whole new kind to appreciate. maybe I don't get to be wrapped in big, strong arms alongside of his warm body, but my heart feels full just the same. every evening between 12 and 1, L wakes up for her last nursing of the night. usually I dread this feeding because I'm beyond exhausted and I just want to be in my bed fulfilling my role as little spoon until I get too warm and roll over onto my preferred sleeping position. (what can I say, I'm a stomach sleeper through and through!) tonight is different, yet nothing has changed. L is nursing, letting out sleepy coos from time to time. her one hand explores, grazing my stomach with the occasional pat or tug. her other tiny hand searches until it finds mine and she chooses a finger and wraps hers around it. during this particular feeding we lay down so she associates it with bedtime, which is where my absolute favorite part comes into play. because she is so tired, she just wants to skip playtime, eat, and fall asleep. while she's nursing and even once she falls asleep, she nuzzles her little body into mine, as closely as she can get. when she's in a position that suits her, she lets out a sweet little sigh. I don't know why I didn't realize it before, but it's times like these that remind me what life is all about.